Books with Spirit – Joyfulness between horses and people

Fear to varying degrees is the most common of all the emotions that we experience around our horse, with anger and frustration hot on its heels. 

Oh, hang on a minute… Did you think that it was only you who had this experience with your horse?  

Heck no!   I’m happy (or not happy really) to tell you that whether they talk about it or not, most people commonly experience either fear, anger or frustration (sometimes all at once) with their horse.

And that does not one scrap take away from the fact that we mostly love ‘em to bits.

So what is this fear? 

Fear is a very important survival mechanism that warns us that we are in danger.  When you’re around your horse, the message about a physical danger can be as simple as “get off that horse right now, you are not safe”. 

So what are we doing when we ignore this fear, when we climb up on our horse, tight and tense? … We are putting ourselves in danger and then we’re staying there.  We are ignoring deep messages from ourselves about how to make ourselves safe!  We are entitled to not only BE safe – but to FEEL safe. 

Our horses’ fear is a survival mechanism designed to keep them safe too. 

We are so connected to our horse that we are feeling their uneasiness, anxiety, dread or fear as if it is our own.  (I explain that in depth in Zen Connection with Horses and the audio lessons that are a part of that book teach you how to systematically change it.) 

Because of that connectedness and the way that we feel our horse’s emotions, we are getting the opportunity to understand that our horse is afraid of something.  Hmmm…And once we understand what they are afraid of, then we get the opportunity to act and help them get over that fear. Double hmmm …  And once we help our horse really get over that fear, then we are automatically safer. Triple hmmm…. 

In my experience as a teacher and clinician of this approach to horses, the horses are almost always in more fear than the person recognises.  Recognising that and changing it brings an extraordinary peacefulness and joyfulness to the horse-human relationship.

Horses are able to co-operate with us to an extraordinary degree when they are not afraid.  

Can you see how much trouble we can get ourselves into, when we mistakenly react as if it was our own fear and then ignore it?  There is a physical risk in riding a horse who is afraid.  Fear is cumulative.  Each unaddressed fear adds to the next, until you can have a horse reacting badly even though their fear is something quite simple and easily fixed.

How can we have a meaningful conversation with our horse if either of us is afraid?

Act on the information in the book Zen Connection with Horses and neither of you will have to experience that kind of fear again. Click here for more information about that book and audio lesson set.