Books with Spirit – Joyfulness between horses and people

 

For those who’ve read the book already, I’m sure you’ll be as excited as me to get a deeper understanding of why horses sometimes give us difficulty when we ask them to do something.

 

For those of you who haven’t yet had the insights from reading my book Zen Connection with Horses, I’m writing this blog with the intention that this article be useful to you too.

 

On Page 61 of Zen Connection with Horses, in that diagram about how we decide what it is that we want from our horse, we talked about the changes that have to happen in order for us to reach that dream.

 

It’s a pretty logical diagram for those of you who haven’t seen it.  It shows visually that if we don’t have what we want from our horse already, then something has to change.  Pretty simple stuff really.

 

And I don’t know about you, but for me, with most of my dreams with my horses, it’s usually a whole bunch of things that have to change in order for me to have my dream.

 

And some of the changes needed for me to have what I want have been really interesting to say the least!

 

Well, the insight that we got clearer and deeper this last few days, is that when I am creating the dream itself, when I am deciding what it is that I want from my horse, that to have harmony around those changes, I need to have harmony with my horse in creating the dream in the first place.

 

That’s logical too, when you think about it (it was a duh! moment for me).  If I want to be a three day eventer I might start out creating a dream where I am completing a D grade three day event with my horse and having a ball of fun doing it.  (I made this example about a D grade cos’ I personally think you eventer people are nuts – those fences I saw in a 3 star event that I watched were terrifyingly high and complex!)   … And I’m creating the fun in this “wish list” because having fun with my horse is really important to me.

 

Well, we know from reading Zen Connection with Horses that once you create a dream, things happen so that you can figure out what has to change in order for you to reach that dream. But what about whether this horse wants to be a part of that dream?  That’s one part I missed out on in previous writings.

 

If you connect to the horse while you are creating the dream and if you have the intention of creating your dream together with your horse, then you are able to create your dream in harmony with your horse. 

 

We’ve discovered that if you think about what you want from or with your horse while you do a mind connection them, then what will happen is that you will get instant feed back about any flaws in that dream – any areas where that dream is not in harmony with your horse.   And then you can take action on that.

 

In the audio lesson in Zen Connection with Horses, we step by step talk you through a meditation with your horse for a really deep mind connection that’s useful to use for this “creating dreams” exercise. 

 

For those of you who haven’t read Zen Connection, one of the audio lessons talks you through how to find the quiet place in your mind with your horse for a really deep connection.   Although you can get to that quiet place in your mind by using any meditation techniques.

 

Then, going back to the previous example about the joyful completion of a D grade 3 day event, you could:

·        meditate with your horse,

·        find that deep mind connection,

·        create your dream together with your horse,

·        get any insights about flaws in that dream,

·        take action on those flaws

·         – and then da daaaa…  you are creating your dream in harmony with your horse.

 

That’s a seriously big point, that’s why I’ve made a bit of a song and dance about it.  If you are connected to your horse’s mind while you are planning or creating what it is that you want to do, then you will get flashes of insight about what is OK or not OK about what you are planning or creating.

 

And yes, it can take a bit of practice if you’ve only just started connecting with your horse’s mind, but most things worth doing take a bit of practice to get really good at it…

 

I know this might take a bit to get your head around, so here’s another example to help – it’s seriously worth understanding.

 

An endurance rider wants to complete a Quilty.  (The Quilty is an endurance event that covers 100 miles, 160 kms, in 24 hours, with a horse who is fit and well enough to theoretically do the same thing again the next day). 

 

Well, if the endurance rider connects with their horse and goes to that quiet place in their mind, they might find out that this horse doesn’t have the heart or maybe even the physiology for such a big event and could never be happy about that goal. 

 

So the endurance rider gets the opportunity to either change the dream itself or to find another horse who can share that dream with the same excitement that the rider has about it.

 

And if the horse can share that dream harmoniously, then from that point on, the horse will be actively helping them understand what has to change in order for them both to reach that dream.

 

What I also didn’t “get” deeply enough until this last clinic at Tonimbuk, was how actively our horse goes about helping us reach our dream. 

 

When we are creating the dream together, every time the horse does something that seems to set themselves up in opposition to what we want, then we should be thinking about what the horse is trying to tell us that has to change.  Because it will be a change that is needed in order to reach that dream together.

 

Am I making a big enough point about that?  It’s a really big deal. 

 

Lets look at yet another example so that we can really get this.

 

What about a nervous rider who just wishes they could have fun riding out somewhere on the weekend? 

 

From that point on, their horse is working at helping them change whatever it is that has to change in order for them to have fun riding out somewhere on weekend.  And that might include the horse being difficult in ways that might frustrate the rider in order to make their point about what it is that has to change for them both to enjoy that ride.  They are just trying to tell us in the only way they know how, what we have to change in order to reach that dream.

 

Let’s re-phrase that again to make sure everyone gets what I’m talking about.    Every time we feel fear or anger or frustration with something that our horse is doing, then whatever the horse is doing is about telling us in the only way they know how, what we have to change in order to reach that dream.

 

So getting cross or losing our temper or making them do whatever it is that that we’ve asked them to do is completely counter-productive as far as reaching our dreams.  Making them do it shuts them up.  It shuts them up from telling you in the only way they know how, what you have to change in order to reach that dream.

 

Hmmmm…  That’s seriously big….

 

Now what if the horse for whatever reason is never going to be OK with that goal of riding out on happily on the weekend?  Then creating that dream becomes a very hard thing to do.  Not necessarily impossible – but it can be very difficult. 

 

When you create your dream in harmony with your horse, then you are creating something that you can both work harmoniously towards.

 

And what I got to understand even deeper this last few days, is that we have to trust our horse, we have to really trust that everything our horse does from that point on is about helping us reach that dream – even if what they are doing seems to be the opposite of what we want.  In fact, especially then!

 

And for those of you who are reading this article who haven’t read Zen Connection with Horses yet – yes, our horse really is such an amazing creature.  A horse who lives with their human without any fear  is a thinking, sentient being capable of the most amazing co-operation with their person.  The book and audio lessons that come with the book show you how you can achieve that amazing co-operation.  I see awesome examples of it constantly, both in clinics where I teach this stuff and from feedback from readers.

 

If you haven’t got this life changing book yet, click here to go get it with it’s “love this book or get your money back” guarantee.