Books with Spirit – Joyfulness between horses and people

I had a question from a reader the other day about what to do about her horse that wouldn’t walk through a simple little puddle on the ground.

First of all, know that your horse  has no depth perception in their eyesight, so they cannot tell whether  the water is only 1 cm deep or 10 metres deep.  So they have to trust you when you tell them that it is only 1 cm deep.

I am a bit “thingy” about the trust word.  Too often, trusting involves not making myself safe and giving my power away to someone else.  I am VERY into listening to my fear and making myself safe.

And for my horse, I am VERY into listening to his fear and helping him to be and feel safe.  That is the very base of my of having a good relationship with my horse.

So in this instance of the water, the question is not so much “how do I get my horse across the water”, but “what can I do to help my horse to feel safe when I ask him to cross the water?”

Hmm… that question puts a bit of a different angle on the situation, hey?

When something like the water problem comes up when I am out riding, I forget the rest of the ride because I may not even be going there. 

Because with this water “problem”, I have a wonderful opportunity  to  improve my leadership skills with my horse and improve my relationship generally and at the same time help my horse feel good about himself and happy to be with me – which is all MUCH more important than the rest of a trail ride.

The more times that I help my horse to understand that something he is afraid of is really OK -  and it really IS OK – and I help him create a comfort zone around that thing that he was afraid of – the more inclined he is to be comfortable in my judgement.

For me, this is not just about getting my horse to go through the water, it is about getting him so that he is not afraid to go through the water. 

So this how I would approach getting my horse to not be afraid of the water…

I would start by just approaching and retreating from the water.  You may stop and back away from the water when you feel that something is Not Quite Right or you may back away when your horse stops going forward.   

I back away far enough so that my horse is in his comfort zone again.

When I have backed away far enough for him to be in his comfort zone, then I will just sit there on his back and wait for him to Chew.  And I would sit there for no matter how long it takes for him to Chew because the first time I did this he would probably be releasing old fears and resistances from times when I forced him to go forwards into something he was afraid of. 

Fear is cumulative – each fear buried adds to the the others that were buried, so every time that I force my horse to do something that he is afraid of, I risk increasing his fear levels generally.

The time that  I spend sitting there waiting for The Chew, is giving him the opportunity to release some of those old fears and/or resistances from the past and let go of them.  This is possibly the most useful time that I ever spend in the saddle.

When he has chewed, I will ride forward again to the water, as far as he can go and repeat the whole stopping, backing up and waiting for The Chew process if I have to – until he can walk through the water without fear. 

And if I feel that he is exhausted by all that emotional processing of old fear, when he has taken a very long time to Chew, then I may even quit for the day, turn around and go home  – even though we haven’t gone through the water yet.    

Because that emotional processing can at times be even more exhausting than physical work.  And because this is not about getting my horse to go through the water, but about helping him to not be afraid of going through the water.

Every time we help our horse deal with a fear and they become not afraid of something any more, we become more and more leader like.  Until, eventually,  just the fact that we say “ït’s OK ” is enough to have them follow our leadership. 

But that takes quite a few examples to them first…

The book and CD set Zen Connection with Horses, with its “love this book or get your money back” guarantee, explains the comfort zone, how we can use it to have our horse and ourselves feeling safe under all kinds of circumstances, explains why The Chew is so important and takes you through 8 simple lessons in understanding your own connection to your horse and how you can use that for awesome results.

And that’s not all folks, we have 6 free steak knives as well! 

Just kidding…

Zen Connection with Horses really is the most beautful book, full of OMG and ahaa… moments – it has had fabulous reviews.  Click here to read more about it.