Horses aggressive to other horses

I had an email from Pam who has an Arabian mare who is an aggressive horse and beating up the other horse in her pasture.  She says the mare “has a bad attitude and is very mean to the other horse who is always being chased around and has bite marks all over him”.

In both Zen Connection with Horses and Bobby’s Diaries, Straight from the Horse’s Mouth to You  I talk about the lead horse as being completely different to the dominant horse.

The dominant horse gets what he or she wants.  Everybody gives them what they want very quickly and salutes to them at the same time.  But the other horses don’t want to be with them.  They don’t want to groom them, don’t want to stand next to them companionably and certainly don’t want to be around them in a friendly way at all. 

Why would they?  They can never relax a moment from the dominant horse’s demands – from their kicks, their bites and being chased around by them at the drop of a hat.

The lead horse on the other hand, hardly ever has to get active or bite or kick anyone.  Although I have noticed that if he does, he is mostly doing it for them, for the benefit of the herd or for the benefit of the individual concerned, not just for what he wants.  He will share his food under many circumstances and is altogether a much loved member of the herd by the rest of the herd.   

Hmmm….. I figured out that I wanted my horses to want to be with me, so I wanted to be more like the lead horse. 

There is a great story about Whisky, a lead horse, getting very strong with another horse, but for their benefit and the benefit of the whole herd,  in Zen Connection with Horses.  The full story is a bit long for here, but I have to tell you that we went from being upset at what we were seeing, to a whole different appreciation for herd dynamics! For those who have Zen Connection with Horses, this story is on Page 15 and is about Nugget and Whisky.

Pam’s question about her aggressive mare, had some great timing to it, because we have just had a second aggressive / dominant horse change his ways here in our herd and stop beating up on the other horses. 

Celtic Peace is the horse who has made the most recent changes.   He has been a seriously dominant horse in our herd of ten.  The other horses (except for the lead horse) are always leaping away from him when he lunges at them with his teeth bared and they often have kick and bite marks from when they are too slow.

Peace was originally fed in a separate yard.  Even in the yard he was always obsessed with his food and someone stealing it, even if there wasn’t another horse close.  But then the miniature horses started to do a tag team harassment to distract him for long enough to snatch some food from his feed bin.  (The little beggars can get under the yard fence.)

If he is out of this yard, the lead horse and from the lead horse in training (who is under the protection of the lead horse) could also take his food.

In Peace’s case, the thing that made the change for him was me defending his food for him.   I got an idea a week or so ago to feed him out with the other horses in the paddock and defend his food and voila!  – he is a different boy in all kinds of ways, not just around his food.  I keep a big area around his feed bin clear of horses and chase them away for him when they come near while he is eating.  Defending his food, has been Peace’s “key” to being a happier horse with the other horses in all circumstances, not just feeding time.

He has had a complete change of energy with not only me, but the other members of the herd as well.   There is nowhere near as much aggressiveness and this has only been happening over the last week or so.  It is having quite quick results in this instance!

I was beautifully surprised over the last few days to see Peace actually playing with other horses, including the minis – lovely to see him having pure fun for the first time in forever!

In Matt’s case, the other aggressive, dominant horse, he was a really bad windsucker and a VERY nervous horse and crikey the lumps he used to take out of the other horses - it was very bad.  At one point, even though I am committed to a herd environment, I was considering putting him by himself, I was so sick of the bites and kicks and bruises on the other horses.   

The change in Matt’s personality with the other horses (and with me too) came as I developed the Zen Connection work – he was actually the horse that was the original catalyst for that book.  One of the techniques in Zen Connection with Horses, helps them release old trauma from the past while we are “training” them - it also includes a bunch of other awesome stuff too numerous to mention here!  As I developed the incredibly gentle work in Zen Connection, Matt got less and less nervous and then more and more confident and then that seemed to reflect in his dealings with other horses, not just with we humans.   

Matt is now a complete pussy cat and a very happy member of his herd. (Also a very steady riding horse too, working with a beginner – not bad for an ex-racehorse who raced successfully for a long time.) 

So there you have it, the first hand experience of two different aggressive horses – both different solutions – but both now much happier horses within the herd.  

There might be some clues in there for your girl or maybe her answer is going to be completely different to Peace and Matt. 

But I just noticed as I was writing this, that the common denominator with both these horses was helping them to be more confident.  Even though the circumstances were different, helping them to be confident was the same in both cases - and that changed the way that they related to the rest of their herd.

What turned my guys around, may not be what turns your girl around.  But there WILL be something that will help her to be a gentler herd member. 

Did you notice that both breakthroughs for both horses came from a change that I made, from something that I did?

The rest of your issues with the mare are a piece of cake, “the spookiness and the head strong” and the fact that you really want to be able to trust her and not get thrown at your age.  (Me too!  The ground gets harder every year at my age - I am done with hitting the ground!)  When you have the understanding that Zen Connection with Horses with its 8 audio lessons for your MP3 player will give you, I expect all those issues to be a piece of cake.  If you try it out - read the book, do the lessons on the CD - and if it doesn’t give you the help that you are looking for, for that mare, then I’ll give you your money back.

For readers who haven’t read Zen Connection with Horses yet, it really is an amazing book and it comes to everyone with my personal “love this book or get your money back” guarantee.  Read more about the book at the bookshop (click here) or browse around People’s Stories and Readers letters if you’re still unsure. (These categories and a great resource of archived articles are on the right hand side of this page – you may need to scroll up.)  Enjoy!

My communication was obviously not as good as I thought it was.  So here is an additional email that I sent back to Pam:

Sorry Pam, my communication is obviously not as good as I thought it was.  We use the horse themselves as the teacher in this way of being with horses - even if people are here in a clinic with me, I am still teaching them how to use the horse themselves as the teacher.  That gives you skills and results that go far beyond reading a book or paying a trainer to “train” your horse or having lessons from a teacher.  Not that we can’t get help from someone else’s experience, (I am still learning some great stuff from other people) but I believe nobody knows our own horse and our own relationship with them like we do.  We, my horse and me,  are the best expert in our horse-human relationship.
 
And you Pam, with all that knowledge that you have been working on, you sound like you have the skills to do this – if you combine that to listening to the horse and taking action on what you “get” when you listen…
 
Re your girl, I expect that helping her to find the confidence that will help her not to be aggressive will be the answer to her aggressiveness with the other horse. Now how to do that - you are right, that is a whole other question.
 
Matt and Peace’s answers in the article were quite different from each other and your girls’s answer to what will give her the confidence to not be aggressive any more, will probably be different from them. You can figure that out by a combination of observation and awareness on your part and I can hear from your emails that you can do this!
 
You start by paying attention to everything that happens in your ordinary day with both your horses.  From observing how they are together.  Notice what is happening before she attacks him.  You may need to do this for a few days.  Notice how she feels about things that happen, with the other horse, with you, even with other people or horses over the fence. 
 
So, pay attention to everything that happens in your day with both horses until you notice what could be upsetting her.  Then, if you haven’t already had a lightning flash of insight as to what to do about it, (and pay attention to any thoughts that pop into your mind at that time, no matter how unusual)  then come back to me and I will give you a hand with options.