Books with Spirit – Joyfulness between horses and people

It was feed time, everyone had their hay, the two horses being hard fed were in their separate yards so they could eat comfortably.  We were doing everything as normal.  I was putting Celtic Peace’s rug on and was doing up the leg straps, when he lifted his leg and took a swipe with it. 

 

He didn’t actually kick me, but I was so shocked at the “bad manners” that I growled loudly and slapped his backside with a big clapping sound on the rug.  My reaction was instant – with no thought, just pure retaliation.

 

Peace’s reaction was to be expected.  He jumped in fear from the whack on his rug and ran off around the yard.  Then later, when I went to let him out and just moved my arm a bit too quickly, he jumped in fear again.

 

So what use was that reaction of mine?  My reaction put him in the oh shit I’m dead zone, where he can only react too – where he could only react from fear. 

 

What I did was of absolutely no use whatsoever in terms of changing his behaviour, it was of absolutely no use whatsoever in establishing boundaries of what is or is not OK by me when I am doing up a rug and absolutely no use in making myself safe for next time.

 

So what on earth happened?  What happened that someone who knows all this, like me, reacted in such a way that was so useless and so completely opposed to my goals and dreams with my horses?

 

I was just doing a survival reaction – a survival reaction that is no longer useful to me (if it ever really was.)

 

When we react like I did, on auto pilot, and when I decide that that reaction is no longer useful to me – then there IS something that I can do about it. 

 

Just like the gift that we give to our horse of helping them to change their survival reactions by working deep in their comfort zones (which is what we do with the Zen Connection work) – so can we give that gift to ourselves.

 

So how can you do that for yourself if you need it?

 

Step 1:            In my case, I decided that the reaction that I had with Celtic Peace is no longer useful to me and that I want to change it.  The importance of this step cannot be exaggerated. 

 

Step 2:            Pay attention to all thoughts, ideas, knowings, insights and Not Quite Right’s that may be letting us know what it is that we have to know or do to reach that goal of letting go of that old reaction. (Zen Connection with Horses contains quite detailed explanations of this process with our horses.)

 

Step 3:            If you too, notice yourself using survival reactions on auto pilot that you decide are not useful to you any more, then you will be coming up with your own ideas and your own ways of changing them.  That is, your “change places” on the way to that goal will be unique for you.

 

But here’s the way I’m personally going about it, in case some of these ideas are useful to you:

 

·        First of all, those of us using the approach in Zen Connection with Horses, already know that these kind of survival reaction’s for our horse are easily changed in their DEEP comfort zone.  So it’s a pretty sure bet that it’s the same for us…  Thus, giving myself a hard time for my survival reaction is NOT going to put me into my deep comfort zone.  So, to stop beating up on myself is important.

·        How can I create a deep comfort zone for myself from where I can start processing and releasing old trauma like my horse does?  One way in which I can find that deep comfort zone is in a connection with my horse, either in a meditation or just in the bubble connection that I describe in Zen Connection.  I really like to be comfortable and in a space of being safe and not being interrupted when I’m doing this kind of work on myself. 

·        From that connection, I get the insights necessary to complete each “change place” on the way to my goal of changing that survival reaction that caused a problem with Celtic Peace.

·        Also, I can count on any other insights that are necessary to make themselves known to me, in various ways, over the next period of time, just like all the other Not Quite Right’s that I talk about in Zen Connection.

·        And lastly, I’ll get help if I feel that I need to.

 

And even more interesting, writing this article was part of what I had to know or do for that change place on the way to my dream….

 

If you would like to know how to help your horse to change their old resistances and release their old trauma, then Zen Connection with Horses, the book and audio lesson set, will give you a simple way to do that.

 

Whether you are a brand new rider or an Olympic competitor, this set gives you step by step instructions for a mental connection with your horse that will show you how to reach your dreams with your horse.  Click here for more about the book.