Those of you who have read Zen Connection with Horses, will be aware that Bobby has been out in the paddock, doing nothing, for a bit over a year while he grew a complete new hoof.
Of course, it was complete coincidence that his major foot problem came when I wouldn’t listen to him when he was saying “ride Matt” “ride Matt” for months. … yeah right!
Anyway, I have had some pretty interesting insights whilst bringing Bobby back to “work” the Zen Connection way. For those of you who haven’t read the book yet, Zen Connection with Horses came from obeying Bobby’s strong request that I “ride Matt”. So Zen Connection is Matt’s book.
Bobby’s been what they call a “short horse”. That’s a horse who when things aren’t right, doesn’t move forwards. I have come to understand quite clearly what made him like that – and in all kinds of ways, it was me.
Amongst other causes not important right now, in my natural horsemanship training I completely misunderstood the purpose of getting the horse to stand still while we do stuff to them – like throwing ropes, flapping plastic bags and cracking whips. And I completely misunderstood that sleepy look that Bobby got when I was doing these things.
That sleepy look was about putting up with it, rather than about being completely comfortable about what I was doing.
Using the Not Quite Right that I describe in Zen Connection with Horses, I have discovered that Bobby was standing still and putting up with an awful lot of stuff that was not in his comfort zone. I am astounded at how generous he was to write Bobby’s Diaries when there was still so much there.
I am astounded at how generous he has been all his life to politely hold his feet to be done when it was never really in his comfort zone and I am astounded about a whole host of other everyday things that were not completely in his comfort zone.
I misunderstood Bobby, when he was prepared to put up with something – when he was being generous enough to put up with something – I misunderstood that as being in his comfort zone.
When you are just putting up with something, do you feel really happy about doing it? I thought not… It’s kind of a contradiction isn’t it? And when you’re just putting up with something, do you think you get as much enjoyment out of that situation as is possible? Hmmm I thought not too….
So when I understood what was happening and looked for Bobby to be really happy about everything that I do with him, not just be generous enough to put up with it, then our relationship moved to a new level.
Click here to read how I changed it from just putting up with it, to being really comfortable about it.